A Visit to The Headmaster
by Dylan S. Thompson
Summary: Well, Snape's been having impure thoughts about a student, and he goes to Dumbledore to request he be fired. However, he gets some unexpected results...
1. Default Chapter

A/N: Usual disclaimer applies: Wordpad=Evil Program without spell check; and Me=Lazy Bastard without motivation to spell check. So, you know, spelling errors probably galore.  
  
  
  
Severus Snape sat stiffly in the Headmaster's office, gazing around at all the decorations in the office. Severus had visited Albus' office hundreds, perhaps thousands, of times, and he still could not help but stare in wonder at everything the Headmaster had. The Headmaster himself sat behind his regal desk, peering at Severus over his half-moon spectacles, with his hands steepled in front of him.  
  
"Why is it, Severus," the Headmaster began, softly, "That you've requested a meeting with me?"  
  
Severus took a deep breath and leaned forward, not taking his eyes away from the older man's. 'This is going to be difficult,' thought Severus, 'and very embarrassing.'  
  
"I think it would be appropriate if I were to be removed from my teaching position as soon as possible." Said Severus evenly, with no hint of emotion.  
  
Albus raised his eyebrows in surprise, and asked, "Oh? Why is that?"  
  
Severus took another deep breath. 'Now comes the embarrassing part,' thought Severus.  
  
"I have had dot dot dot (A/N: Stupid ff.net won't let me put the three dots. Stupid ff.net scowl) impure and improper thoughts about a student. And the best course of action would be to remove myself as quickly as possible, before these thoughts turn into actions." By this time, Severus had begun to blush a fierce red, and, at the look of amusment Albus gave him, he dropped his head into his hands.  
  
'This is VERY surprising,' thought Albus to himself with amusment. Not that he would reveal this, but he had always thought that Severus was made impotent because of his days as a Death Eater. And, more than that, Albus had always believed Severus to be gay. 'Although, to be fair, Severus has not revealed the gender of the student.'  
  
This thought led Albus to his next question. "Would you mind very much if I were to inquire as to the identity of 'the student'?"  
  
Severus lifted his head out of his hands, and scowled at the Headmaster. "You know very well that I would mind, but, seeing as it would only be proper for me to divulge the identity of the student, I will tell you."  
  
Albus looked on expectantly. Severus Scowled. Fawkes Preened.  
  
"It's dot dot dot" Severus finished the sentence in a incoherent mumble.  
  
Albus grinned knowingly at Severus. "What was that, Severus? I didn't quite hear you. My hearing isn't what it was a hundred years ago."  
  
Severus scowled harder, and took another deep breath. 'Shit,' thought Severus, 'why must he take nothing seriously. This would be so much easier if the old fool would just fire him, and quickly.'  
  
"The student in question, Headmaster, is dot dot dot Miss Granger." After this revelation, Severus quickly resumed his position of head-in- hands. Because of this, he did not see the look of relief that came upon the Headmaster's aged face, nor did he see the far off look that overtook the older wizard's face, which meant that he was planning something.  
  
They both remained silent for a minute, then Severus hazzarded a look up at the Headmaster, fearing the look of anger, disgust, or dissappointment that he expected to see on his mentor's face. What he did not expect to see, however, was the Headmaster looking at Severus benevolently, even amusedly.  
  
"What?" Severus asked, bluntly.  
  
"Are you aware, Severus, that, due to the use of time turners throughout Hermione's scholastic career, that she is a little over 18 years and 4 months old?"  
  
"Er dot dot dot no, I wasn't aware of the fact. Why do you ask?" Asked Severus, confused.  
  
"I just thought that it would interest you to know that she is of legal age," the Headmaster responded, cryptically.  
  
Severus gave the Headmaster a look of disgust, mixed with horror and shock. "Are you dot dot dot are you suggesting that dot dot dot that I act on these thoughts?"  
  
The Headmaster smiled and leaned back in his chair. "Now, Severus, I am not suggesting anything. However, it is my firm belief that, after years of darkness, that everyone is entitled to a little dot dot dot fun. Especially you, Severus. You sacrificed more than anybody during the war."  
  
Severus stood up, furious at the Headmaster. What the Headmaster was suggesting was morally and ethically wrong! 'But oh so very tempting,' a little voice in the back of his head whispered. 'Shut Up!' thought Severus to himself.  
  
"Headmaster, I am shocked at your presumptiousness and depravity! To even think! To suggest! I am SHOCKED!" Severus began to stalk to the door, but it was slammed shut with a flick of Dumbledore's wand. The Potions Master slowly turned back to the Headmaster, and saw that, in Dumbledore's opinion, it definately wasn't time for Severus to leave. Glaring, Severus made his way back to his seat.  
  
Once Severus was seated, Dumbledore laid down his wand, and folded his hands on his desk. "Now that I have your attention, Severus, I would like to point out a couple of things that I have noticed in the last two years."  
  
Severus began to speak, but was silenced by a quelling look from Dumbledore. "I have noticed, Severus, that while everyone else in the wizarding world has become more open and celebratory, you have become much more introverted and brooding. I have worried about you, Severus. You hardly ever leave your dungeons, and, when you do, you hardly ever say a word. At least in the old days you would stalk the halls for hours at a time, and be nasty to the students."  
  
Again, Severus opened his mouth to say something, but was stopped by Dumbledore. "In spite of this, or, perhaps, because of it, I have noticed a high interest in you coming from the female population of this school." At this Severus looked at Dumbledore increduously, but did not try to comment. "A particular student interested in you, Severus, is one Hermione Granger. I know this because she reported it to Minerva."  
  
"Now, having said that, I am in no way saying that you should go out and shag Miss Granger like a man posessed. However, if you were to leave this office and happen to run into Miss Granger while she were studying, say, in the library and something were to develop between the two of you. All I'm saying is, if that were to occur, that such an indescretion could certainly be overlooked, seeing that you are both consenting adults."  
  
It seemed as if Albus was done pointing out things he had noticed. And Severus, who had so wanted to interrupt earlier, was left speechless. Silence reigned in the office for awhile, before the Headmaster cleared his throat, and said softly, "I think that, awhile ago, you were storming out?"  
  
Severus stared at him blankly for a few moments, and then realization dawned on him. "Oh dot dot dot uh dot dot dot yes."  
  
With that, he stood up and quickly made his way out of the office. He had entered Albus' office expecting to be leaving on his way to pack his bags. Instead, he was leaving with practically an open invitation to start a relationship with a student. Once he was outside the Headmaster's office, he leaned against the wall, and softly banged his head against the hard stone.  
  
He was so busy knocking himself into concussion that he did not notice the soft footsteps come down the hall. In fact, he didn't notice the presence of anybody near him until the person said softly, "Professor, are you ok?"  
  
Severus opened his eyes to find himself face to face with his object of desire, Hermione Granger.  
  
'Well dot dot dot fuck,' thought Severus to himself, 'now what do I do?'  
  
  
  
A/N2: Yes, I am an evil enough bastard to leave it there. Hehehe. I guess you'll just have to wait till I write the next chapter to find out what happens. 


	2. Chapter of Shortness

A/N: Usual Disclaimer Applies. This is a short chapter, I know, but it's a linking chapter, so it's supposed to be. Mayhaps I'll have more soon.  
There was an uncomfortable silence, in which Hermione looked on as Professor Snape stared vacently into space. 'He looks as if he's trying to make an important decision. Either that or he's stoned.'  
  
Hermione suddenly found herself struggling to keep giggles from bursting from her mouth as she picture Snape stoned. After a couple of seconds of struggle, she couldn't contain herself anymore, and a giggle erupted from her lips. She quickly covered her mouth to cease the noise, but it was too late. Snape was out of his reverie and regarding Hermione with cold eyes.  
  
"Something amusing, Miss Granger?" Snape asked coldly.  
  
"No!" Hermione said quickly. Snape's eyes narrowed, and Hermione gulped. 'Shit!' thought Hermione, 'This is all I need. The man of my dreams thinks that I'm laughing at him.'  
  
Snape was silent for a moment, before nodding and relaxing just a tiny bit. "Yes, well, Miss Granger, I suppose that it's a convienence that we ran into eachother as such. I had wanted to talk to you."  
  
Hermione peered up at her professor curiously. "About what?"  
  
It seemed to Hermione that Snape swallowed nervously before continuing, "I am planning on undertaking quite a laborious project soon. The Headmaster insists that I seek an assistant in the project. And, since you are the most advanced in your year, I naturally thought of you."  
  
'That was definately a compliment!' Thought Hermione excitedly, starting to blush. She smiled (a tad bit goofily) and said, "Of course! I'd love to help!"  
  
It might have been Hermione's excitement at the prospect of spending so much time with 'the man of her dreams', but she could have sworn that she saw the flicker of a smile cross Snape's face before he said sharply, "Good. Come to the potions classroom at six A.M. sharp on saturday morning."  
  
And, with those words, he spun on his heel and swept down the hallway. Watching him go, Hermione's smile, only a tad bit goofy before, went all the way. 


End file.
